He disabled his match.com account in front of me
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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