you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
