Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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