I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
