And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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