I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
