The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize