Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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