you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
