do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
its not stalking. its research.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
