my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
