am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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