I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
These tits shall not be calmed
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
