I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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