We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
