In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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