they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize