I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im holly from the hills drunk
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
