my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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