You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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