im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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