they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
