Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
