I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
