You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
