you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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