Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
