so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
