youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
