Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
