oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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