I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
