The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize