Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize