I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
