Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
