Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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