The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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