Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
