I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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