Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
