he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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