it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We are two peas in an std pod
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
