yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
