Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
