i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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