Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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