That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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