I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
