Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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