i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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