Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
