My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
