What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
