I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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