I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
