There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
