the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
foreskin is a definite game changer
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize
