he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
