I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Semen is not good for contacts.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
