i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
