I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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