On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
