I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
