Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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