I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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